Posts by Had To Go

Hello - I am hoping that some born-ins, still-ins, elders (ex), MS, etc. can help me with a question I have. What is the typical JW thought on seeking counseling via a licensed therapist or psychologist? My 12+ marriage has suffered since I decided to leave the Borg. My husband says that it is all my fault when in all actuality we have both changed. I guess all people do. I have recently suggested the two of us seeking counseling and he has thought of every reason for us NOT to go. (money, etc.) His latest was to tell me that the bible has all the advice that he needs and is it not good enough for me. What is he scared of?

31

If Your Husband (wife) is Still In - -

by Had To Go in

jw
friends

do you vacillate between caring that he/she is still entrapped in this cult and wanting to show them everything you have learned since your awakening and not wanting to rock the boat and therefore just keeping all this knowledge to yourself?

i wonder if it is normal to go back and forth like i do.

one day i want to tell my husband something i may have read here or on another forum and maybe, just maybe i will pique his interest.

Had To Go

I ended up leaving him almost a year ago.

Thursday - Did you have children together? How long after you left the Borg did you finally give up on your husband?

31

If Your Husband (wife) is Still In - -

by Had To Go in

jw
friends

do you vacillate between caring that he/she is still entrapped in this cult and wanting to show them everything you have learned since your awakening and not wanting to rock the boat and therefore just keeping all this knowledge to yourself?

i wonder if it is normal to go back and forth like i do.

one day i want to tell my husband something i may have read here or on another forum and maybe, just maybe i will pique his interest.

Had To Go

once they turn you in for having doubts

Oh, let there be no doubt in your mind...I have been turned in, SD-7. I refuse to meet with them. I think they have finally quit bugging my husband to try to get me to meet with them. I think my husband knows that I would assume DA myself than to meet with the elders. And he also knows that if I do DA it will make his life a little harder so he isn't pushing it. I think I pretty much suck at being subtle as well. I just blurt it out and even then it is all half-a#$ed! A lady I used to work with called my husband the silver tongue devil because he is so good with words and people. I on the other hand am the exact opposite. That is why I don't think I will ever succeed with him.

31

If Your Husband (wife) is Still In - -

by Had To Go in

jw
friends

do you vacillate between caring that he/she is still entrapped in this cult and wanting to show them everything you have learned since your awakening and not wanting to rock the boat and therefore just keeping all this knowledge to yourself?

i wonder if it is normal to go back and forth like i do.

one day i want to tell my husband something i may have read here or on another forum and maybe, just maybe i will pique his interest.

Had To Go

Just remind them of something they already know, so that they can't deny it.

Black Sheep - What do you suggest reminding him of? I like your response to my question. It seems so far that everything I have mentioned he has not cared about...or at least he has pretended not to care.

86

Are you a fader, Df'd, DA'd, or Still In?

by brotherdan in

i thought this would be an interesting poll that would show everyone the backgrounds of all of us when we left, if we have.. for myself, i am not df'd, but i am attempting a fade.

i still go to some meetings with the wife to help with kids, but that's it.

no commenting or field service.. what about everyone else?.

Had To Go

Some may consider me a fader...I just up and quit going. There was no slow process.

A "friend" came over and told me that another friend's husband stopped going to the KH because he was doing some research. I tried not to show the excitement on my face. I pretty much immediately contacted this person and obtained CoC and Combatting Cult Mind Control and the rest is history.

The ONLY thing that could make this better would be if my family would stop attending. Instead my husband is on a spiritual high that I hope deflates one day.

31

If Your Husband (wife) is Still In - -

by Had To Go in

jw
friends

do you vacillate between caring that he/she is still entrapped in this cult and wanting to show them everything you have learned since your awakening and not wanting to rock the boat and therefore just keeping all this knowledge to yourself?

i wonder if it is normal to go back and forth like i do.

one day i want to tell my husband something i may have read here or on another forum and maybe, just maybe i will pique his interest.

Had To Go

Yes, Sister HTG, you get a "W" on formatting... Maybe next post we can give you a "G"...

I should at least get one now. It took a minute!!

31

If Your Husband (wife) is Still In - -

by Had To Go in

jw
friends

do you vacillate between caring that he/she is still entrapped in this cult and wanting to show them everything you have learned since your awakening and not wanting to rock the boat and therefore just keeping all this knowledge to yourself?

i wonder if it is normal to go back and forth like i do.

one day i want to tell my husband something i may have read here or on another forum and maybe, just maybe i will pique his interest.

Had To Go

But you can be successful for your children to grow and not get entrapped into the JW non-thinking mind.

This is my mind-set MOST of the time. Try to not stress too much on getting my husband out. But try to teach my boys to think for themselves and let them know that there are choices in life.

i never DAd to make things easier... for the moment.

That's hard as well, isn't it? I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to DA on one hand but I don't want to make it hard on my 2 young boys and my husband. At least JWs can come over now, if they dare.

31

If Your Husband (wife) is Still In - -

by Had To Go in

jw
friends

do you vacillate between caring that he/she is still entrapped in this cult and wanting to show them everything you have learned since your awakening and not wanting to rock the boat and therefore just keeping all this knowledge to yourself?

i wonder if it is normal to go back and forth like i do.

one day i want to tell my husband something i may have read here or on another forum and maybe, just maybe i will pique his interest.

Had To Go

And not only do I need to work on subtleness, I also need to figure out how to format my posts.

31

If Your Husband (wife) is Still In - -

by Had To Go in

jw
friends

do you vacillate between caring that he/she is still entrapped in this cult and wanting to show them everything you have learned since your awakening and not wanting to rock the boat and therefore just keeping all this knowledge to yourself?

i wonder if it is normal to go back and forth like i do.

one day i want to tell my husband something i may have read here or on another forum and maybe, just maybe i will pique his interest.

Had To Go

For me it's all about patience. It's a two person tightrope walk and I want to make it to the other side together.

I like this. This religion has taken over 12 years of my life from me and I don't want it to ruin my marriage either. Just as my original post, there are days when I am in it for the long haul, with hopes of making it to the other side together. Then there are days where I feel that I left this religion and I don't want it to play ANY part in my life and by being a quiet, submissive (puke) wife and not saying all that I want to say to our boys and/or my husband it is still controlling me in a sense.

I just try and "sow Seeds" gently, much as they advise J W's to do with UBM's

This is a good thing to keep in mind. Subtleness...I guess it is something that I need to work on. I tend to air on the side of all or nothing with things that I say.